why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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