who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
