Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
