i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
