how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
