Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
