It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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