Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
