so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
