Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
