"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
