i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
