How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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