i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
