I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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