so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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