I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
