yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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