I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
