y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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