there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
you traded sex for a burrito?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
