I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
