They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she told me i tasted like america
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
