Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
