babies were throwing up all over the place
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
