your thong is hanging out like whoa
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
