Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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