i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
