would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
