She is in my trunk
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
