btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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