no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
