im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
be right there i have to get my cape
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
