i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
