A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
