I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
