So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
