I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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