My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
