waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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