yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Randomize
