I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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