Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
