Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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