apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
