I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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