Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
