If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
