We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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