EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
