I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
